missizzy

Yesterday we got one piece of figure skating news that genuinely surprised me: that of Delilah Sappenfield getting hit by a lifelong ban. We've known for years she deserves one, but it was hard to believe it would ever actually happen. I've seen SafeSport being accused to trying to wiggle out of punishing people when they can. The investigation results really must have been such that they felt they had no choice. There are still a hell of a lot of problems in the sport, but this is getting rid of one big source of them. I feel much better going into next season now.
Then, of course, came today's news. I came tragically close to learning Trump had been convicted from Dean Winchester. I was scrolling through Tumblr when my mom came running in with the news; ten more seconds and I would've hit one of the posts on it. We turned the TV on briefly, but there's only so much of that we were willing to sit through.
It may not be actually getting rid of him; he continues to be all too resistant to being gotten rid of. But surely there's no way this doesn't do him significant damage, at least. It could very easily prove the difference in the end, when it comes to the election. Especially if he does get jail time; be a little harder for him to campaign then. And who'd have thought it would've been this case that did it?

Once again I decided to deal with a dental appointment where I wasn't sure how long it would take by taking the entire day off. I went in with what I'd thought was a badly chipped back tooth which I hadn't even been able to get a real look at on my own, and after cleaning my teeth as normal, they took photos and an X-Ray, and then referred me to a dentist with a DMD instead of a DDS for root canal therapy. When I was a little girl, root canals were scary things my sister got, because she loved sweets, and I didn't like them. Though at least they feel a *little* less scary when you're 39. I actually wasn't there for all that much longer because of it.
Air went up to code red yesterday, where apparently were became one of the worse spots hit again. Still not as bad as last time, and while mom and I did suffer some effects, they were much more minor. But you could definitely still very much see the haze for most of Thursday. Or maybe we've just learned to spot it.
I hope it at least caused a few older Supreme Court justices some genuine discomfort this week. They ought to suffer some punishment for doing everything they can to fill our country with misery and hardship, especially for those who aren't straight white men, including probably more than one decision at this point that if it hasn't made the bad air partly their fault yet, it will within a few more years.
Listening through the soundtrack of Legend of Vox Machina's second season for the second time. I still can't hear "Do Not Go Far From Me" without wanting to cry. But why didn't we get the full version of "Make the Bald Man Cry?" I wanted my full-blown bawdy tavern jig, dammit!

Tuesday night mom talked me into getting Chinese food, and then declared it a little celebration of a certain arraignment happening that day. But honestly, since understanding the charges and their legal theory, I've been a bit nervous about if Bragg can pull that one off; it's the kind of charges Trump's lawyers can conceivably talk the jury into rejecting. It'll be much better if he gets charged with the electoral interference he engaged in after the votes had been counted; they can't use any "all politicians do that" arguments for those.
And really, I only felt better that day after the Wisconsin Supreme Court election got called. That's the event from Tuesday might matter at this point, especially with it now being very clear that some states are now truly lost, and we have to go into "save as much as can be saved" mode. Though I suspect Tennessee was a lost cause from the start anyway.

This morning mom and I woke up to the blood moon, although it honestly looked a bit more orange when we went outside just before six to see it, before washing, dressing, eating, and then heading to our temporary polling place at the Masonic Temple for what will probably be the last time, since the new elementary school's going up pretty quickly now. There wasn't a line, but there was a pretty steady stream of people coming in. All for an area where the only race going on today is a Congressional one where the outcome isn't really in doubt.
I suppose we still have to do it for at least a few more years, especially since there remains the chance we can force the Republicans to blatantly overturn results and be officially confirmed as the enemies of democracy that they are. Hell, it might happen this week in Georgia. But this one carried a feeling of finality to it. After today, it's all too likely our doom shall be set.

I think our DM has realized I'm there for the drama. We started the session, with the druid all ready to heal Varvara of the lycanthropy, even as he (with his consent) infected the one member of the party who didn't get it during the fight, but then he insisted he couldn't do it without offending the werewolves we were trying to do diplomatic negotiations with. She had to send her were-fearing wolf companion Lon off with their other allies and spend a traumatic night were three weres, two of whom had a very limited ability to control themselves, even after she finally got cured, terrified the villagers would take their fear of the werewolves out on the actual wolf. Then, when the druid actually told Lon she'd been infected and cured, he initially refused to be near poor Varvara, and yeah, high drama there. They eventually reconciled and we were able to continue the story, but things are definitely never going to be the same.
I haven't been watching the January 6th hearings so far. At this point I care only if it actually makes it harder for the Republicans to get votes, or if it makes Merrick Garland feel any pressure, and I don't have much faith in either thing happening. I've actually been paying more attention to the week's blowup in the TTRPG community, because hey, that's a thing where just maybe some good will come out of bad things being exposed. I even watched much of Brian's stream on it last night, and say what you will about him, he's done good there.

We've all heard the claims this year. Everyone wanting to believe that the majority of Americans are good people, really, who don't want all the horrible things our government does; we just aren't in position to elect people who won't do them. How there are all these people whose votes are being suppressed, and all we have to do is....well, I've never been sure anyway. All we need is turnout, they said. Cultural values are getting better, they said.
But none of that bullshit can explain away Virginia. We had plenty of voters who were willing and able to help vote out Trump last year, and they were perfectly able to keep him out this year. But the minute it's not his name on the ballot anymore, and a few people are asking that maybe this country finally acknowledge how damn racist we've been and still are, they hand the state right back to the Republicans. Even knowing what's happened in places like Georgia and Texas as a result, that in all likelihood the Democrats will now never be allowed to win here again, and that's probably Congress flipped next year right there, which means its either Trump or someone even worse becoming dictator in 2025 too.
That was always the problem. We had to get lucky every time, and they only had to once. But it would've been nice if we hadn't fallen at the first hurdle. Now we've got three whole years to dread the final fall, and contemplate what can happen to us then.
Although I've already been doing that. Thoughts about how you can't really survive the collapse of society due to climate change tend to happen a lot when you're disabled. Honestly, watching the Biden agenda fail, it's long occurred to me that if he doesn't stay in power, I'm screwed no matter what happens. Don't talk to me of revolution either, by the way. I definitely wouldn't survive the events of that.
So I'm done with it. I've probably only got a few years left. I need to figure out what to write so that it gets read as much as possible now, because there won't be any legacies for anyone, and maybe how to reduce my suffering as we wait for the end. (Without killing myself. I won't give them the satisfaction, at least not until such time as I'm facing down a far worse fate as the alternative.) No, don't talk to me about this country anymore. I no longer have that kind of time.

Twenty years ago I was sitting in a high school classroom, translating a Catullus poem, when we heard a crash, one that sounded far harsher than anything I'd ever heard. Fifteen minutes later we learned it had been the sound of the Pentagon, among other places, getting hit by a plane, in what would prove the end of the Pax Americana I and my peers had grown up in. Things deteriorated further from there.
This year, I'm mostly angry, having only learned after the whole invasion had ended in disaster that contrary to the impression we all received at the time, the Taliban actually would've handed bin Laden over just to avoided being invaded, and even that those fighting them already urged us not to do it. Back then, I think just about everyone believed the invasion had to happen, that there was nothing else to be done. Just another war based on lies.
Not to mention that right after watching us concede we couldn't save Afghanistan, that all we could do was get as many people out as possible, we all saw what happened in Texas, and looking at the voter suppression laws all over the country, now I wonder how long it will be before the same can be said for parts of our own country. Or even the entire damn thing.
I did at least finally officially attest to my status as vaccinated this week; a month after Biden announced the requirement, government bureaucracy came through with the procedures. We are not, however, required to prove it.

Mom talked for days about how moved she was by Biden's speech as he signed Juneteenth into law. She really does love the guy; he seems to appeal to more intellectual older middle-class white women. Meanwhile, all I can think of is all the voter suppression the Democrats are utterly failing to stop even when you'd think their own self-preservation would make them figure that out, and I don't even remember what other terrible things are going on at the moment. I haven't watched Biden do anything since the inauguration. In fact, I've barely watched any politicians say or do anything. I just don't want to anymore, and it feels pointless.
Even the holiday is something that benefits more white people than black ones. Though at least federal employees all get their day off, even if OPM barely got the announcement out in time. Especially good for us librarians, since the virtual ALA conference means we won't get next Saturday off. I may take some days off after that too.

Seeing and hearing what I have these past few days has driven home to me the dichotomy of how the last year has changed us: societal attitudes have moved to the left, while societal power is still stumbling rightward. Not entirely; some figures are getting voted out of office. Right now, my city no longer has a confederate statue, but still has a mayor more on the side of big business than anyone else. Yet there's a good chance we might actually get rid of him in a month's time-though maybe less because of that than because he put too many bike lanes in and pissed a lot of people off with the traffic increase!
Thus we see on the national level, the discourse get more progressive and anti-fascist. And yet the Republicans are still setting things up to hand the country back to Trump in four years time anyway, and we might not be able to stop them, and the Supreme Court is still preparing to destroy Roe-amoung other things. On the international level, more people are finally calling Israel out on their mass atrocities-but they're just worsening their behavior, knowing the U.S. will still be good for support until we can disentangle ourselves from our own imperialism.
It's early enough that there's still a hope that if we scream long enough, things might still truly turn around. But I fear things might again get worse before they get better.

Yesterday morning I had actually assumed the trial would resume on Monday. I'm not sure why, I just did. So the verdict happening came as a shock, though the outcome, sadly, did not. And when I'd been having a good day, too.
So now the Democrats have everyone pissed at them, and for that reason alone you wish they had put out the witnesses. Hell, if the Senate Republicans really had threatened to block everything in retaliation, well, maybe if they'd made good on it, that would've finally gotten the holdouts on board for abolishing the filibuster. Now we have to hope they do enough and the people trying to get the vote out on the ground do enough to at least hold the House in 2022, or Biden'll be the last president ever elected by the people.
Hell, now I'm nervous for March 4, since that's apparently the next date for potential revolt. It'll be harder now that the Pentagon's out of Trump's control, but still.