![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
missizzy
The second half of the “368 Days” for Grogan Doyle and Vareth Riddell started when Vareth woke from his 40-day meditation and swiftly concluded that he needed to take Anakin as his padawan, and repair his relationship with Grogan. When he came to him, Grogan happily took him back, and after a few days of taking it slow they found themselves reunited completely, sexually as well as emotionally. But when their duties forced them to separate, and Grogan was forced to let children die for the second time in his life, he decided he was unworthy of Vareth and fled from his life, doing the last of his many Grogan Doyle Runners, which ended when Vareth tracked him down and made him promise to never run again. In the aftermath he also forced Grogan to see him as an equal, rather than as the idealized figure he had seen him as until then. After that, their relationship remained more or less stable even through the trials of Palpatine nearly destroying the Jedi Order and Grogan being forced to kill his old Master, as well as the difficulties of training Anakin together, until Grogran proposed and Vareth accepted. Just before the battle against Palpatine ended, Vareth was forced to do what everyone thought would be a heroic sacrifice of his life, but by the blessing of the Force he survived it, and they were bonded alongside Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon.
Nickelback-Far Away
I wanted, I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed, I need to hear you say
That I love you, I've loved you all along
And I forgive you, for being away for far too long
So keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold on to me never let me go
Grogan, Day 213-Afterwards, as I lay beside her in a stupor, I realized two things. One, I am far too old to be snorting spice in sleazy cantinas. Two, even the most spectacular sex leaves me empty and wanting something I can't have.
I eased myself out of bed and ended up down the hall, standing and staring at Candille as he slept. My thoughts kept straying to another beautiful young Plogorian. I wonder if in his magical slumber Vareth ever dreams of me.
Perhaps one day I'll ask him. Yet one more item on my list of things to do before I die.
Vareth, Day 223-I couldn't think where to start, how to make things right. I dropped to my knees, ready to beg him, to do anything if only he would listen and not run away again.
"Can you forgive me?" I said.
"No!"
I sighed in defeat, and suddenly he was on his knees beside me taking my hands. "I meant, you've nothing to apologize for, my *azi*."
Bruce Springsteen-My Lover Man
I can see the change in your eyes
There's no need to apologize
We stood at the wishing well
Our dreams like coins into the water fell
The water so cold and black
There was no going back
I don't mean to cause you hurt or cause you pain
Life is short and love's a dirty game
Now there's no need for our game to end
Come close and we'll begin
To find our beautiful selves again
My lover man
Vareth, Day 223-I knelt and took him in my arms, soothed him, all the while wanting him so fiercely it took my breath away. At last he settled, and we tried again. This time, I firmly shut away the still-raw connection to the Unifying Force lest it burn him. As our minds joined, even thus incompletely, the dormant lover's bond flared to life. For the first time, I was truly aware of it, though it languished in the shadow of Anakin's enormous presence. I think I felt Grogan's jealousy when he sensed the training bond.
Though we both wanted more, I allowed him only a brief kiss before tearing myself away.
Grogan needn't worry. Anakin will grow up and leave me to find his own path in the galaxy, but if I have my way, the lover's bond will break only in death.
Grogan, Day 223-And so we began the delicate process of joining our minds for shared meditation. All Jedi maintain basic shields, even when joined. This was just a trickier version of that. As we touched, careful not to invade too deeply, I could finally see our lover's bond, tenuous and weak, and a stronger thread that was Vareth's bond with Anakin. I swallowed a lump of jealousy at that. Vareth seemed to feel my struggle and sent a wash of acceptance to me. I fought to calm my breathing and sink into proper meditation despite a raging erection brought on by the feel of my *azi* warm in my arms at last and the memory of his stunning connection to the Force in its purest, most awesome form.
He allowed me the briefest of kisses before we parted.
I don't deserve this. I don't deserve him. But I won't let him go. Not as long as he'll have me.
Coldplay-Clocks
Confusion never stops
Closing walls and ticking clocks
Gonna come back and take you home
I could not stop that you now know, singing
Come out upon my seas
Cursed missed opportunities
Am I a part of the cure?
Or am I part of the disease?
Grogan, Day 227-"I told Master Dakka I didn't want it to be you, because I didn't want you tied to me. I didn't want you to feel obligated."
I felt my brows rise, and I blinked rapidly. "As you pointed out recently, I am *not* obligated -- except, of course, insofar as I want to be. Which is to say, wholeheartedly and completely and without reservation. Silly boy, don't you know by now I'm *yours*?"
He closed his eyes tight, frowning. "I just ... I need time."
"Of course. I'll stop pushing."
He opened his eyes and met my gaze, smiling gently. "Grogan ..."
I held up a hand. "Say no more. I will possess myself in patience until the happy day you can stomach me as more than a pesky annoyance buzzing about your ears."
"Grogan!" He laughed, and the room seemed brighter.
Vareth, Day 227-I regret to say my weakness isn't just physical. Grogan kissed my hand, and I had to suppress a shudder. Not of revulsion, but of desire. As usual, he misinterpreted my gesture and took it to heart, apologizing and berating himself. I tried to explain, but he doesn't seem to blame me at all for anything that's happened.
I don't know why he wants me. I seem to cause him nothing but pain. Nevertheless, I am starting to believe him when he makes his grand declarations of undying love.
Mandy Moore-Only Hope
I give you my destiny
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope
Grogan, Day 228-When I opened my eyes, I was amazed to realize nearly two hours had passed. I would never have guessed I’d be able to meditate that long -- especially not tonight. But I did. And now I am focused and calm, and I know the path my Vareth and I will take this night.
That path will not lead to my bed. Not tonight, anyway.
I don’t know what has come over me, but suddenly having Vareth naked and my bed is not the most important thing to me.
I had to stop and re-read that last sentence, because for a moment, I couldn’t believe what it was I’d just typed.
But it’s true. My meditation cleared my aura of sexual tension, uncluttered my mind, and revealed to me our true path.
I want Vareth -- that hasn't abated. I want him now and forever, and without any reservation. But, even more so, I want him to want me in the same way. And to that end, I think there is yet one more thing we need to do before we fully consummate our relationship.
Vareth, Day 229-I'm almost certain Grogan expects me to reject him, now that I know the truth about the things he does and the way he thinks. I must admit, had I known even a tenth of this when I'd met him, I'd never have agreed to greet him on the landing platform, much less start a relationship.
Happily, I am not that man anymore. The San-como gave me more than a preternatural view of time's possibilities, it gave me a glimpse into Grogan's soul. As he realized at the Leavetaking for his recruits, so also I realized during my long meditation: for all that he walks the edge of the Light, there is no darkness in him.
I could not do what he does. Not and stay sane. I don't pretend to know how he manages it. But this I do know: his work is Force-led, and vitally important to the balance of the All. Much like a gardener prunes away dead wood, or as a surgeon excises a cancerous tumor, so do the Zarath eliminate those who would threaten the very existence of the Force itself.
We are bonded. I will not deny it again.
Matt Nathanson-Come On, Get Higher
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
I miss the pull of your heart
I taste the sparks on your tongue
I see angels and devils
And God, when you come on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Grogran, Day 229-He turned away and got up on the bed. Then he held out his arms to me, and I don't think my feet touched the floor as I flew to him. I tried to take things slowly, wanting every moment of this, our true first time, to last forever, but our bodies both disagreed with my plan. Vareth was passion and fire, and everything he did to me burned me with a brightness beyond anything I'd ever imagined.
He was beneath me and around me, and his cock was hot and hard between us, and his lips were soft and sweet and he made sounds that were driving me mad with want.
"Slow down," I panted, trying to pry myself from the sweaty tangle of arms and legs. "We've got the rest of our lives together."
"That's right, old man," Vareth whispered hoarsely. "We've got the rest of our lives. But right now I need to fuck you hard and I need to fuck you fast, and if you don't help me do that ..."
Vareth, Day 230-If I had any doubts at all, last night put them to rest. Making love with Grogan was not only pure joy, it was *right* in a way few things are in this life.
I surprised him by giving him exactly what he likes in bed -- a partner who takes charge and bottoms from the top. Or tops from the top, as I did this morning, to his great delight. Perhaps all lovers should read each other's journals before coupling.
Kelly Clarkson-Beautiful Disaster
And do I try to change him?
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight
Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
Grogan, Day 235- How could I have been naive enough to believe I would be allowed to love and be loved by someone as pure and good as Vareth? Why am I forced to live knowing who I am ... what I am ... what I've done? What terrible whim of Fate decreed that whatever brief, occasional happiness I may find must always be snatched from me?
And how could I have been asked, once again, to make the choice I had to make?
Vareth, my love, my heart, my life, my precious *azi* ... I'm so sorry you've found yourself bonded to a man who is capable of doing the things I've done. Perhaps a way can be found to sever the ties that bind you to me, so that one day you can find someone worthy of your love to spend your life with.
Vareth, Day 236- They didn't seem terribly concerned, but I can't shake the feeling that I must do something. No matter how I try, the urge to find Grogan will not leave me. Is it a function of the bond? Does my subconscious sense his turmoil? Or is this a normal reaction to opening a journal entry and discovering that your new lover has just ripped his soul in half and is convinced he is no longer worthy of love?
Imagine Dragons-Demons
They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go
Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how
Grogran, Day 237-"How could you still want me?" I asked softly, still unable to look at him. "After what I did ..."
"Blast, Grogan, what's it going to take to get through to your mucked-up mind that I love you? Look at me, you old fool! Look *into* me and see my heart. Has no one ever shown you what real, unconditional love is?"
I looked at him then, looked hard, like he asked. Looked deep into his eyes. His gaze never wavered. I felt something inside me break. Then I was in his arms, and I held on to him as if I were drowning and he offered salvation.
In a way, I suppose he did.
Vareth, Day 238- I surprised myself yesterday with my own anger. I had thought I was completely in control, mindful of my emotions and master of them. Then I saw him -- slouched in an alley behind Trix's, filthy, stinking of ale and smoke, clothing askew, looking like nothing so much as a vagrant spice addict -- and a surge of loathing hit me.
I felt no pity as I hauled him out of that place and let him know just what I thought of his behavior.
It's taken me most of yesterday and today to understand the source of my feelings. It will take even longer to get past them, I think.
Sheryl Crow-Strong Enough
When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Would you be man enough to be my man?
Grogan, Day 237- "Never again, Grogan," he said, finally breaking the strained silence between us. "I must have your word on this. No more runners!"
I looked at him, wishing there was something I could do to take this pain from him.
And then I realized I could.
I leaned forward and took his hands in mine. "I give you my word, Vareth," I said, softly. "The only running I will do is to you, not away from you."
Vareth, Day 238-Part of me wanted to go with him, to give him what comfort I could. But in the end I held off -- for several reasons: One, my own emotions are still unsettled, and it would be harsh comfort indeed if he were to sense my lingering anger and disappointment. Two, I'm not sure our cuddling wouldn't spiral into a sexual encounter that neither of us is ready for. And three, he is so exhausted that I believe he is already asleep, if the snoring echoing down the corridor is any indication.
I meant what I said yesterday. It hurts to know he thinks so little of me, that he would turn away without a word because he assumes I won't be able to handle what he's done, what he needs. I am his bondmate. I will do whatever I can to help him through this, if only he'll let me. All I ask is that he not abandon me -- abandon *us*.
Why do you put me on a pedestal?
I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below
So help me down you've got it wrong
I don't belong there
One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here
You wouldn't say so
You wouldn't say so if you were me
And I, I just want to love you
Vareth, Day 239-I rose, clutching the gloves in my hand, and a twinge of anger penetrated the calm I'd been trying to maintain. After all this time, it seemed Grogan still imagined me on some sort of pedestal, far above the seamy, gritty realities he dealt with in his daily life. Too pure on the one hand, and too weak on the other -- in need of protection. How could I hope to share a future with him, if I couldn't make him see me as his equal?
I stretched out with the Force once more. The currents around us were tinged with red and black -- Grogan's guilt, and Jambo's sorrow -- along with brighter bands of love and desire. There was no shatterpoint here that I could see. The choice was mine. I only hoped the path I walked would lead us both where we needed to be.
I started to pull on the gloves.
Grogran, Day 240-I never would have dreamed I could find absolution in the presence of Vareth, and yet it was he who led me to the one place I so desperately needed to go. What an epiphany that turned out to be.
Through his love, and that of Zex and Jambo, I finally realized how my devotion to Vareth had done him a terrible disservice, relegating him to a pedestal so high that no mortal being could survive in its rarified air of heavenly perfection. And how unfair I'd been to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, assuming he would not be able or willing to help bear my burdens.
Lights flash and we'll run for the fences
Let them say what they want, we won't hear it
Loose lips sink ships all the damn time, not this time
Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it my love
They are the hunters, we are the foxes, and we run
Baby, I know places we won't be found
And they'll be chasing their tails tryin' to track us down
Cause I, I know places we can hide
Vareth, Day 248- Both of us are weary, so we're going to meditate and sleep. We've set the station's time to match the Temple on Coruscant. If Grogan is still there, we can perhaps dream together.
However, I sincerely hope he has already escaped the planet. I'm trying not to dwell on what has happened to him, but it bothers me more than I can express to see him repudiated and made a fugitive. At least he will have a haven here, on Asylum Station, once he's done on Raxus Prime. I wish I could join him and watch his back.
Be safe, my *azi*. Every cell of my body craves you. I need you here with me. May the Force be with you as I cannot, until next we meet.
Grogan, Day 248- Vareth, my love, with everything that has happened, I am truly glad you and Anakin are far away from Coruscant. Palpatine has become far too curious about the boy, and the very idea of the Chancellor being around him makes my blood run cold. Do whatever is necessary to keep the both of you safe. Do it for me, because I am a selfish man who, having only just discovered how it feels to love and to be loved in return, is not willing to give it up anytime soon. But even moreso, do it for Anakin. I lack your gift of prescience, but I have no doubt the boy is destined to play a vital part in the fate of the galaxy.
To that end, I've seriously considered your request for my help in training Anakin, and while I am exceedingly honored that you would ask for my assistance, I'm not sure it really would be good for the boy. I fear my past has made my mindset too gray for one so young and intuitive as he. Yet, to be honest I believe there is much I could teach him -- and much I could learn from him.
Obviously, I need more time to come to a decision.
I can't think straight because I miss you.
Meet me after dark again and I'll hold you
I am nothing more then to saviour of that
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
If only night could hold you, where i can see you, my love
Then let me never ever wake again
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
Grogran, Day 257-He stroked my face with his fingers, staring as if trying to memorize the sight. What he sees in this old man's freckles, crow's feet, and mountainous enormity of a nose I cannot even guess. Had I not known him well, his eyes -- twin wells of ancient, primal wisdom -- would have unsettled me. No one so young should have such eyes.
And then he kissed me. I felt myself melt, soaking in whatever he gave me, barely responding except with a heartfelt groan and a sag into total submission. He could have done anything to me then, even slain me, and I would have relished it. I longed for him to hold me down and punish me, hurt me, cut me into tiny pieces and consume me. Instead, he gently rolled me onto my side and entered me. He'd slicked his cock with oil,, but he gave me no preparation, and the burn of his entry blew every pleasure fuse in my brain. I have no memory of what happened after that, other than a great deal of loud moaning as he pressed me down and very methodically destroyed me with measured, even strokes. My awareness telescoped down to the point where we joined. A bomb could have gone off in the room and I would have known nothing but my *azi* inside me, filling me, burning me, branding me as his own.
When it was done, we lay side by side. Gradually I became aware that he was weeping in silence, not for grief but for love. I couldn't help but do the same. Some things are simply too beautiful to be borne by mortal beings.
Vareth, Day 257- All this ran through my mind as I lay awake this morning, luxuriating in the feel of my bondmate's strong arms enveloping me. He was still asleep, and I let my senses sink into him, rocking gently to the beat of his heart, feeling the ache of bones and flesh still knitting from his grievous injuries. How he could ignore such pain and still pilot his ship through the Run or make love to me like a man possessed -- I couldn't begin to understand. Then he awakened, rising from dreaming to alert without moving or opening his eyes. I felt him tense with the pain, but instead of letting it go as anyone else might do, he *embraced* it, reveled in it, and somehow turned it into a rich, dark sort of pleasure that had both our cocks rising in response.
That was a revelation, indeed.
My lingering hesitation at the possibility of hurting him dissolved, and I was more than ready to give him what he'd asked for when he came to me last night. But I was in no mood for games, or roles, or experimentation. I just wanted to love him, to pour myself into him, to live inside him, if only for an instant, and lodge myself so deep that a part of me was left behind. Despite my growing awareness of my natural predilection for dominance, I had no interest in his submission. Instead, I wanted to serve. In my gratitude for his love, for his presence in my life, I wanted to be for him whatever he needed.
I think he understood. For once, there were no words between us: no banter, no seduction. He kissed me, then rolled to his side, facing away, and moaned lustily as I prepared and took him. The ache of my entry poured over us like water almost too hot to touch, burning and comforting at once. By the time we finished and lay panting side by side in the wreck of our bunk, I was weeping, slow tears tracking down my cheeks into my ears in a most undignified manner. The only consolation for my lack of control was to know Grogan was in the same state.
Vienna Teng-Harbor
Fear is the brightest of signs
The shape of the boundary you leave behind
So sing all your questions to sleep
The answers are out there in the drowning deep
Sail your sea, meet your storm
All I want is to be your harbor
The light in me will guide you home
All I want is to be your harbor
Grogran, Day 263-The old Grogan would have just taken off and jumped right into the fray, but the new and improved Grogan has actually listened to the advice of someone else, someone younger and with far less experience in these matters, something I would have never done just a short time ago.
Do you see what loving you has done to me, Vareth? I've become reasonable. Or at least more so than I ever imagined I could be.
Vareth, Day 264-Grogan will die with his boots on; I wouldn't really have it any other way. All I can do is hope it's later rather than sooner.
Still, *must* he thrust himself bodily into the middle of every conflict with such abandon? I suppose he must. He is, after all, Grogan Doyle. He's been doing this sort of thing since before I was born. To expect him to change would be foolish and unfair.
Edwin McCain-I’ll Be
And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive and not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
Grogan, Day 271-He slid up beside me, and I turned to face him. He smiled his special Vareth smile, and my heart lurched with love and devotion. I kissed him, tasting myself, and held him close as I drifted off.
I awoke this morning wrapped around my beloved and decided there was no better bed than one with him in it, even one made of bent and bruised saplings and sticky blankets.
Vareth, Day 272-Anakin commented earlier that he has begun to think of Asylum as "home." I suppose that is a good thing. For me, home is firmly lodged next to Grogan's beating heart. I am lying against him now, whispering as he shifts and mumbles contentedly next to me in bed. His aura mingles with mine, bringing me such overflowing happiness that I find myself almost weeping. Whatever the future brings, I have this moment, now, and it is beautiful.
Avril Lavigne-Keep Holding On
You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
Vareth, Day 286- My heart is breaking for Grogan, something it seems to do on a regular basis these days. I cannot imagine the pain of having to kill my own Master because she'd turned Dark. I don't know if I would be able to do it.
Grogan, Day 288- Vareth, bless him, held out his arms without a word, and I staggered into his embrace. Somehow, despite my outweighing him by a good ten kilograms, his strength anchored me, encased and enfolded me without confining. I almost wept, but managed to keep my emotions in check. Sal has enough reason to think me hopelessly unbalanced without witnessing another emotional breakdown.
Vance Joy-Mess is Mine
You're the reason that I feel so strong
The reason that I'm hanging on
You know you gave me all the time
Oh, did I give enough of mine?
Hold on, darling
This body is yours, this body is yours and mine
Well hold on, my darling
This mess was yours, now your mess is mine
Grogan, Day 291- "You know," he said, rising up again and straddling me until his face was tantalizingly close over mine, "I love you for doing this sort of thing, even while I hate you just a bit for leaving me yet again. But since I already know how stubborn you are ..." He lunged down and kissed me, tongue stroking mine in a way that took my breath away. He made it last just long enough to get every cell of my body flooded with lust, then pulled back. "I have no hope of stopping you, and I'm sure I should try. Help me not think about it, please?"
"With pleasure, my *Azi*," I said. After that, my mouth was employed with more important tasks, and we didn't speak again.
Hours later, I heard the chime for station's dawn and rose, leaving him half-asleep and so fucking beautiful I could barely tear myself away.
Vareth, Day 293- I know Grogan said he was running silent, but the general tension around here has affected me enough that I am unable to completely put my concern for him aside. I'm grateful we were able to spend a few hours together, making love and reconnecting. I feel greedy wanting more. As a Jedi, I should be content with whatever time we can carve out of our duties to be together. But I am finding it is never enough.
Death Cab for Cutie-Soul Meets Body
I cannot guess what we'll discover
When we turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels
But I know our filthy hands can wash one another's
And not one speck will remain
I do believe it's true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
But if the silence takes you, then I hope it takes me too
So brown eyes I'll hold you near
'Cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
Grogan, Day 318- But at any rate, returning to sleep was an impossibility. My *Azi* slumbers deeply beside me as I write, so beautiful, even with lips swollen and bruised, my finger marks on his ribs, the burn of my stubble pinking his neck.
I don't want to think. Ever again. I just want to lie down beside my bonded mate and luxuriate in his purity and fire, his strength and tenderness. They tell me you know you've found your true love when you cannot imagine your life without your beloved.
Code be damned, I want this. I crave this. If Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan can marry, why should we not do the same? Perhaps this is an unconventional way to propose, via journal entry, but I cannot contain myself now I've made up my mind.
Vareth, Day 338- I wonder at times what it will be like to be officially bonded. I imagine things will go on as before, but he's talking about celebrating after the ceremony with a tenday spent doing nothing but staring at each other over caf on some backwater with no technology, only grainfields and vast blue skies. The idea makes me shudder ...
Snow Patrol-Run
To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do
Light up, light up, as if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder louder, and we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
Grogan, Day 362- I brought up the escape pod controls and held my finger over the pod eject button. A jump to Coruscant had already been calculated. There was no sense in prolonging the horror. "I love you, my *Azi*. May the Force be with you."
I pressed the button, felt the jolt as the pod ejected. I heard him say, "I love --" and then the transmission was cut off when I hit the throttle for the hyperdrive.
I wanted to stop, to go back, to see if he had somehow managed the impossible. But I didn't trust the hyperdrive to make more than one jump without failing. And many on board needed urgent medical attention.
I reached out with the Force, trying to find a trace of him, but I felt nothing. We don't have a true lifebond, but wouldn't I have felt it if he died?
Vareth, Day 362- The Force is truly with me. I must have more work to do before I join the All, because with the random spinning of the *Padawan's Plaything,* the odds that I would have been ejected *away* from all the various event horizons nearby are, forgive the pun, astronomical.
I truly hope you one day get to read that and wince, my love. Assuming we both survive this little adventure.
Christina Aguilera-We’re a Miracle
Here we are, safe at last
We can breath a sigh, seems the storm has passed
Through it all, no one knew,
That all the tears in heaven, would bring me back to you
No one I know, imagined we would make it
But it only matters that we both believe
You and me, we're a miracle; meant to be
And nothing can change it
Mountains move and oceans part
When they are standing in our way
Grogran, Day 364-I'm actually grateful to have a choice at all. To have still the possibility of once again seeing Vareth. Of getting him to the Temple gardens and kneeling beside him in a proper bonding rite.
Just an hour ago, I'd despaired of even knowing what had become of him.
Vareth, Day 364-Another figure knelt next to me and cradled my head. It was Grogan.
"*Azi,*" I croaked.
"Stop scaring me, you inconsiderate cretin," he said softly. "We've got a bonding ceremony to plan."
I chuckled weakly. "Only if we get out of here. We don't have much time."
"Story of our lives, isn't it?" He helped me to my feet, then picked me up in his arms when it became obvious I couldn't stand on my own.
Goo Goo Dolls-Stay With You
Now wake up this world
Wake up tonight
And run to me, run to me now
And I'll stay with you
The walls will fall before we do
So take my hand now, we'll run forever
I can feel the storm inside you
I'll stay with you
Vareth, Day 368- I am not an expert in my homeworld's ancient tongue, but the words emblazoned over Grogan's heart in intricate knots of purple strands were visible in more than just the normal spectrum. They glowed in the Force as well, and they spelled something roughly akin to "The Noble One."
The knotted art radiated out, incorporating scenes from our history together, going back in time to events I didn't recognize from before I'd met him. There was nothing concrete, yet I somehow knew exactly what each design meant. I circled him, finding more designs on his back in green, blue, gold, and black -- Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, Anakin and I -- twisted into the tapestry of ink.
Grogan, Day 368- The sun is once again rounding the horizon of Coruscant. It's a new day, a new year, a new life.
I've no doubt our duties will part us at times, and we will be in constant danger. I wouldn't have it any other way. But something fundamental has changed for me. Where before I viewed the future with indifference, now I am eager to see what this life has in store for me, with my beloved Vareth by my side.
Let the adventure begin.
Bonus: The Story of Tonight-Hamilton
Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away
No matter what they tell you
Raise a glass to the four of us
Tomorrow there'll be more of us
Telling the story of tonight
They'll tell the story of tonight
Archivist’s Note-The events chronicled in this account are but a small part of the larger history of the Jedi notables Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Grogan Doyle, Vareth Ridell, and Anakin Skywalker.
This writer is currently working on a translation of their further adventures, should the Force enable him to survive long enough to catalog everything in the many volumes left to us by posterity.
It is to be hoped that much instruction and inspiration can be gleaned by a study of the histories of our revered ancestors, who, despite their many flaws and struggles, served the Force with heartfelt zeal.
(“Halo,” “I Know Places,” “Before the Dawn,” and “We’re a Miracle” not available on Spotify, so are uploaded individually; other individual uploads available upon request)
